There is a disturbance in the Rhode Island Force. I noticed it the other day when I heard a commercial on the radio for… Bob’s Discount Furniture. Bob and his discount furniture stores are from Connecticut, and I had to stand his silly local-furniture-store-quality commercials for four years while I was in Hartford. Now… Bob has come to Rhode Island. And of course, competition is not a bad thing for the residents, but I fear Bob has started something that he may or may not be able to finish. With Bob’s offers of free popcorn, coffee, and pastries in his stores, he has fired off a shot at Rhode Island Institutions: the Cardi Brothers and John “The Voice” from Alpert’s.
I dont know what’s going to happen, but this war is gonna hit the streets pretty soon, and I can gurantee it is not going to be pretty. The Cardi brothers are ruthless. They’ll send a message. The booming bass of John from Alpert’s will shake Bob right to his core. Next thing you know, Bob’s trucks arent going to make it over the Connecticut border. Being forced to turn around and head back, the Cardis own the border, it’s a fact. 25% of all furniture revenue goes directly to them, as a tribute of sorts.
Bob may have landed his first store here, on rt 2 in Warwick, the commercial Mecca of Rhode Island, but he better be prepared for the furniture fight of his life.
