Archive for November, 2007

An Open Letter to The Malls

Published at November 28, 2007 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments
“I love the smell of commerce in the morning.“

Dear The Malls,

I like Christmas. The family, the togetherness, the good will towards Man, the whole bit. The hope that it brings me that maybe the human race is worth saving and indeed capable of saving itself. And you know, I won’t even fault you for pushing Christmas on me the day after Thanksgiving, the turkey not yet completely digested in my stomach.

What I don’t like are certain stores that blast their music, making me feel more like Eurotrash at a discotheque than a simple man trying to buy some pants. I also do not appreciate the darkness in some of these stores. I have perfect vision, always have, please do not turn the lights down low so that I have to get dangerously close to clothes. I am not Mr. Magoo.

Also, The Malls, and sometimes you do this, some times you don’t, but I appreciate live music. If you’ve completely decorated the mall, lengthened the hours and let Santa ring a bell out in the parking lot, let’s finish the job and get some live music in there. Kiddie choirs, high school jazz bands, old people olde tyme bands ( RIP Al Conte ), something to liven up the joint.

In conclusion and in summation, I have little choice but to visit you this time of year. You are a Bastions of Commercialization, Castles of Commerce, Shining White Lights of Selling Points in a Dark World of Shopping, act like it.

Thanksgiving

Published at November 27, 2007 in Family and Friends. 0 Comments
“Did I ever tell you kids about the first Thanksgiving? It took place between the ancient Egyptains and aliens from a distant galaxy.“

Ah Thanksgiving, the funnest, yearly ritual sacrifice ever conceived. Thanksgiving means my yearly trip to Miller’s Crossing Bar in Cranston, RI. Miller’s on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is basically a timewarp back to high school. There are some people I only see at Miller’s on this night. We’ve all moved away, but Miller’s calls to the Native Sons of Cranston ( West ). Though I hear Billy’s Frosted Mug has a similar gathering for our cross city cousins of the East. At any rate, the Wednesday ritual was good. A certain degree of awkwardness aside, it was good to see everyone.

On nicer days, I would go to the yearly football game between the 2 high schools, East vs West, the Cranston Cup, fought for bragging rights for 1 year. This year my mighty Cranston West Falcons fell 21-14. I think the overall record for the series is West 19, East, 18, I could be off, it is close though. This year’s weather proved amazing. But alas, blood is thicker than Gatorade, and I skipped out on the game and drove 3 hours north, to my sister’s house.

It was a pleasant drive, though the weather got progressively worse as I drove through Massachusetts and the temperature was 20 degrees cooler than when I left Cranston. It was a simple dinner, turkey, potatoes, bread, canned cranberry sauce, the typical bounty. I napped, I snacked, I napped again. ( Dormito, mangiato, dormito ? )

Next stop, Christmas.

Juno, Not Just an ISP Anymore

Published at November 14, 2007 in Movies. 0 Comments
“Paulie Bleeker is totally boss.“

Juno Movie Poster

I had the pleasure of attending a free sneak preview of Juno last night. The movie is about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant. It is a really funny, well done movie. Plenty of laughs. I am sure the storyline will upset the conservatives, and maybe even some liberals, but I liked it just fine. And I got a free T-Shirt out of the deal!!

Juno was played by the girl who plays Kitty Hawk in the X-Men movies, Ellen Page. She was pretty damn funny as the too mature for her own good, Juno MacGuff. Her dialogue was fast and witty, not something youd expect from a teenager, but that’s part of what makes it so funny. Playing her love interest in the movie was the kid from Super Bad and Arrested Development, Michael Cera. He played the part well, unfortunately, I felt it was kinda the same part he played in Super Bad and Arrested Development, the awkwardly cool, trying too hard kid. Hey, go with your strengths, I’d just hate to see the kid typecast. There was also Allison Janney, aka CJ from the West Wing and J.K. Simmons, the psych guy on Law and Order, as well as Neo-Nazi on OZ.

It was a very funny movie, and even thought provoking, the mark of a successful film, in my eyes. I don’t know when it comes out nationally, but I suggest you see it ASAP.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Published at November 5, 2007 in Life and Movies. 0 Comments
“Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.“

No, I probably wouldnt be as aware of the holiday if it weren’t for V for Vendetta, but in my own defense, I had trivial knowledge of the holiday before the movie. The short, short version of it is that in 1605, Guy Fawkes, a Catholic in England, and his co-conspirators planned on blowing up White Hall along with the King and his aides. King James, a Protestant, was killing Catholics for no good reason, so Fawkes wanted to make a statement about that. That statement had an exclamation point at the end of it. He and his band of merry Catholics were caught and killed on November 5, 1605. Thus, Guy Fawkes Day was born. Today the day is passed with celebrations and fireworks, and even some effigies of Fawkes burned in the streets.

As dastardly ( maybe even terroristic ) a deed as Fawkes had planned, could he be considered a freedom fighter, instead of a terrorist? Shouldn’t we consider the Sons of Liberty a terrorist group, as they tossed all that tea into Boston Harbor? Is Paul Revere a traitor for warning the militias about the British Army? The British government wasn’t even killing the colonists, they were just taxing them! However, because of the outcome of the war and the country that we live in, we consider these men revolutionaries and freedom fighters. I wonder how British history books record those events? That debate rages even today, and won’t be solved anytime soon!

Now, hold on to your seats, because I am going to try to connect the events of 400 years ago, with more recent events, with the help of Charlie Chaplin. Chaplin was a great silent film actor in the early 20th century. Near the end of his career, he made a few “talkies”, one of his last films was made in 1940, and it was a political satire of the current events of Nazi Germany. The film was called The Great Dictator and was so politically charged, it was actually banned in Germany by Hitler himself. It is the ending of the film, Chaplin’s speech that speaks of democracy and the power of the people, that is pretty inspiring, despite the near 70 years it has been since its utterance.

So, it is in the spirit of Guy Fawkes ( his revolutionary spirit, not so much his explosive behavior ) and Charlie Chaplin’s hope for a united mankind, that I present this post, on this Guy Fawkes Day!