Archive for the 'Movies' Category

Avatar: A Movie Review

This low gravity will make you soft. And when you get soft, Pandora will eat you whole and shit you out.

I saw Avatar not truly because I was waiting with antici……pation, but because it looked like everyone else in the world was going to see it, and I would feel stupid if it ends up being the biggest movie in the world… ever, and I didn’t see it. If you haven’t seen it, I would stop reading, as I reveal “key plot points”. Though if you yourself couldn’t have guessed these plot points… you’re not trying hard enough.

I saw it at the AMC Theater in Boston Common, in all its 3D glory. I put on my Buddy Holly glasses and watched the entire movie like that. I wasn’t the only one, so I didn’t feel quite as stupid. After a few minutes, with the initial headache wearing off, the graphics were really good. That much is undeniable. That being said, I have no great desire to see movies in 3D. I have been perfectly fine with 2D my entire life. If I want to see a movie played out in 3D, I’ll go see a play. I also feel the same way about 3D TVs, I just don’t see the need.

At any rate, Avatar… meh. The story was nothing new and really predictable. The Tree of Life, the crippled soldier, the invading hordes, it’s a story as old as time. I know it’s one of the highest grossing films of all time, and this is probably why it will win an Oscar. It’s good business for Hollywood. If this movie can make this much money in the theaters, imagine the amount it can make in residuals with an Academy Award.

Star Trek: The Old Adventures of New James Kirk

How come on Star Trek everybody’s private parts are the same? No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk, “Hey, get your thing out of my nose”.

I saw the new Star Trek movie last night. This is a small review. If you havent seen it, stop reading about it.

Star Trek Movie Flowchart

Star Trek Movie Flowchart

A disclaimer or two. I have never seen a complete episode of The Original Series ( TOS ). Not a one. Everything I know about Kirk and company came from the couple of TOS movies I saw, which I cannot identify without a flow chart, and seeing practically every episode of every other Star Trek franchise. Some in syndication, most during their original runs.

Time travel. I am a fan. If I could put right what once went wrong, I would. I think the people running Star Trek wanted to use the original characters, but also wanted to avoid the scrutinizing of this film by thousands of Trekkies with 40 years of canon to compare to. Enter the alternate universe. I know it was an alternate universe because Spock told me so, thank you Spock.

So perhaps because of, or maybe despite me, not being a TOS die hard, I enjoyed the movie. The plot was fun, the action was cool and the special effects were well done.

As much as we are all fans of these classic characters, I wouldve liked to see a new generation of Star Trek. Just make a whole new crew, I dont know, 100 years after Deep Space Nine or something. There’s only so much prequel I can take. This was a fun movie, but now I fear we’ll see a sequel. A sequel to a prequel? A spreequel? Alternate universe and everything! That’s cool I guess, but meh, I think I would be more entertained with seeing more of the future of the Star Trek universe.

Movie Reviews: “13 Tzameti” and “Mission: Impossible III”

Merde!
~ The 13 Tzameti

Oh no, it’s fine. I always spill red wine on my white custom made shirt.
~PSH – MI3

I saw 2 movies last night. Oh what a Friday night! One of them is part of a new project I have recently begun. More on that. But the other one was suggested to me by Paul F.

13 Tzameti
“13 Tzameti” is a black and white French movie with subtitles. Before you totally dismiss the film because of that, know this, it was a pretty kick ass movie. I won’t give away the plot, because it is too awesome for me to spoil it for you. If you can sit through 45 mins of black and white, French speaking, you will be rewarded on the other end with a truly kickass movie. Unfortunately, due to my promise to you of not spoiling it for you, I am not allowed to go into much more detail than that. Obtain this movie and enjoy! Also, if you get the DVD, check out the Extras and watch the short “Sunday’s Game”.

Mission: Impossible 3
The other movie I saw was not so much for the high quality of the movie, but it goes along with a project I had in mind. Through odd coincidence, I have now seen 1 movie every week for 5 weeks with Philip Seymour Hoffman ( PSH ) in it. In order those movies are, “The Big Lebowski”, “Capote”, “Charlie Wilson’s War”, “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” and “MI:3″. Realizing this 2 weeks ago, I decided that wouldn’t it be fun to watch as many movies as I can with PSH. His entire IMDB page lists only 46 roles, some minor, some major. So if I can manage 1 movie a week, that’s less than a year. And I have also already seen a few of them. So look for future entires to the PSH Project, which will include reviews of these movies. Starting with my most recent viewing, “Mission: Impossible III”.

I saw “Mission: Impossible” when it came out on VHS, yes, that long ago. I did not see the second one. And apparently, that had little baring on my ability to watch the 3rd installment. Tom Cruise commentary aside, this movie was not half bad for some mindless entertainment. With nominal departures from reality and leaps in faith, this movie was what I expected. PSH plays a powerful gun runner with international connections and one thorn in his side… Tom Cruise and his crack squad of commandos from the IMF. No, no, not accountants and actuaries from the International Monetary Fund, spies and soldiers from the Impossible Missions Force [ link ]. I could not make that up if I tried. Plot wise, PSH kills one of Tom Cruise’s first trainees ( from the 2nd movie I guess? ) and pisses Tom right the hell off. PSH is also working with a mole inside the IMF to complete his own little impossible mission of selling “the rabbit’s foot”, which is some kind of unknown super evil material, that is stored in the same containers they stored Mutagen in. Those plastic / metal drive up banker’s tube things, you know the ones. I don’t know much about acting, per se, but I think PSH was actually believable as a gun runner: quiet, cold, calculating, pudgy, probably unpopular as a teenager. And I genuinely think he wanted to kick Tom Cruise’s ass, maybe there wasnt much acting in that though. Am I praying for MI:4, not unless Christopher Walken plays a deranged lawyer bent on conquering Eastern Europe with an army of zombie koala bears, but MI:3 was a decent end to a semi-decent trilogy.

Thus ends my first entry into the PSH Project. I should soon post other entries for the other movies I have seen, look for those in the not-so-distant future.

Juno, Not Just an ISP Anymore

Paulie Bleeker is totally boss.

Juno Movie Poster

I had the pleasure of attending a free sneak preview of Juno last night. The movie is about a 16 year old girl who gets pregnant. It is a really funny, well done movie. Plenty of laughs. I am sure the storyline will upset the conservatives, and maybe even some liberals, but I liked it just fine. And I got a free T-Shirt out of the deal!!

Juno was played by the girl who plays Kitty Hawk in the X-Men movies, Ellen Page. She was pretty damn funny as the too mature for her own good, Juno MacGuff. Her dialogue was fast and witty, not something youd expect from a teenager, but that’s part of what makes it so funny. Playing her love interest in the movie was the kid from Super Bad and Arrested Development, Michael Cera. He played the part well, unfortunately, I felt it was kinda the same part he played in Super Bad and Arrested Development, the awkwardly cool, trying too hard kid. Hey, go with your strengths, I’d just hate to see the kid typecast. There was also Allison Janney, aka CJ from the West Wing and J.K. Simmons, the psych guy on Law and Order, as well as Neo-Nazi on OZ.

It was a very funny movie, and even thought provoking, the mark of a successful film, in my eyes. I don’t know when it comes out nationally, but I suggest you see it ASAP.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
The gunpowder, treason, and plot,
I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

No, I probably wouldnt be as aware of the holiday if it weren’t for V for Vendetta, but in my own defense, I had trivial knowledge of the holiday before the movie. The short, short version of it is that in 1605, Guy Fawkes, a Catholic in England, and his co-conspirators planned on blowing up White Hall along with the King and his aides. King James, a Protestant, was killing Catholics for no good reason, so Fawkes wanted to make a statement about that. That statement had an exclamation point at the end of it. He and his band of merry Catholics were caught and killed on November 5, 1605. Thus, Guy Fawkes Day was born. Today the day is passed with celebrations and fireworks, and even some effigies of Fawkes burned in the streets.

As dastardly ( maybe even terroristic ) a deed as Fawkes had planned, could he be considered a freedom fighter, instead of a terrorist? Shouldn’t we consider the Sons of Liberty a terrorist group, as they tossed all that tea into Boston Harbor? Is Paul Revere a traitor for warning the militias about the British Army? The British government wasn’t even killing the colonists, they were just taxing them! However, because of the outcome of the war and the country that we live in, we consider these men revolutionaries and freedom fighters. I wonder how British history books record those events? That debate rages even today, and won’t be solved anytime soon!

Now, hold on to your seats, because I am going to try to connect the events of 400 years ago, with more recent events, with the help of Charlie Chaplin. Chaplin was a great silent film actor in the early 20th century. Near the end of his career, he made a few “talkies”, one of his last films was made in 1940, and it was a political satire of the current events of Nazi Germany. The film was called The Great Dictator and was so politically charged, it was actually banned in Germany by Hitler himself. It is the ending of the film, Chaplin’s speech that speaks of democracy and the power of the people, that is pretty inspiring, despite the near 70 years it has been since its utterance.

So, it is in the spirit of Guy Fawkes ( his revolutionary spirit, not so much his explosive behavior ) and Charlie Chaplin’s hope for a united mankind, that I present this post, on this Guy Fawkes Day!